A PROJECT REPORT thatz hatke……………………………..

The term ‘four two’ would definitely ring a bell in any BTech student’s mind and he/she would start thinking about the project they’re supposed to do that semester. We (Deepu, Resh n me) never really worried about our project, thanx to deepuz dad who was a big scientist in a reputed organization. Having decided what our project was going to be we were eager to meet our project guide.

Mr. Jayant Patil, a very handsome scientist (our project was turning out to be exciting in the beginning itself) was our guide. With his rimless glasses, funky Ts, stonewashed jeans and on top of that a very casual attitude, he seemed more like a hunk than a scientist. He started off by introducing the project to us and told us that there was another group of four people who were doing the same project. We were supposed to interact and share ideas with them for the ‘successful implementation of the project’ (Well…. the ideas we shared and the topics we discussed is a different issue altogether). We were the typical engineering students who referred everyone (except our friends) as ‘items’. Now out of these four, two of them were truly items n we never really felt bad calling them that.

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or a common trait but both of them were from all girls’ colleges. The first one, a girl called Shwetha used to call Resh ‘RASHMI’ instead of Reshma and Resh used to hate that. Deepu n me found it very amusing n we started calling Resh……‘Rashmi’. Resh got soooo annoyed (n when she gets annoyed she gets a bit confused ) with us that she went n told Shwetha “I am RASHMI not RESHMA” and that girl just went off saying “Yeah, ok. Bye Rashmi. C ya tomorrow”. To Resh’s relief Shwetha stopped coming after a week and we were quite sure about the reason behind this. We knew that she must have got another project elsewhere but no that wasn’t the main reason. It was her ‘makeup’ (we thought she spent hours on it). Yeah u read that right……Shwetha must have felt that her makeup wore off after traveling such a long distance.

Coming to the traveling and the makeup part. All three of us never really concentrated on our look coz we thought we were going to a place full of boring scientists (who only had time to pour over tomes), though after the first day we did take care while dressing up ( must have guessed why……). There wasn’t much use though coz the pollution in Hyderabad saw to it that we were always covered in soot n dust by the time we got to the org. By the way we used to come triples on Resh’s kinetic. We tried everything like covering our heads n face with chunnis n cooling glasses but with no use. On one such occasion we were at the entry gate of the org and I was signing the visitor’s register. Suddenly we see a good looking someone wearing a light green T riding on a Silver Hawk coming from the opposite direction and stop right in front of us. Well he was none other than our very own Patil sir and that was the last thing we hoped for …….he seeing us while we were dressed up like Taliban terrorists. He just asked us to go to our dept n do our work and that he would come back in a jiffy and left, probably still wondering why we were dressed like that. We then realized that the chunnis and the gogs just weren’t our cup of tea and we gave up. We always wondered why all the Jassis got makeovers when we were the people who needed them The Most.

Anyways…….one down (Shwetha) n one more to go. (Did I remind u of Jeffrey Archer?……..well all great writers do have certain similarities).

Deeps n me were the passive listeners reacting very rarely with these people while Resh used to be the active one discussing different topics. Well these topics ranged from chatting with guys on the Internet, a guy’s sense of humor, hanging out with guys…….well in general GUYS. Now there was this item (who looked ok) n one day was talking very animatedly about You-Know-Who. Resh just asked her very casually if she had a boyfriend and she said, “ I know that I am very good looking but that doesn’t mean I have a boyfriend”, we didn’t know how to react, we were just dumbfounded and at the same time felt like shouting……….OH MY GOD the way Jenice does in F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Two down n we dint know that we three were the next to go……….

Sometimes in life, it so happens that you try to screw someone and instead you yourself end up getting screwed. After a month or so into our project Patil sir told Resh n me (Deepu wasn’t there) that he was going on a tour to Calcutta and that he would be back in ten days. This was the first major break we had after we started working on our project and obviously we were planning to make the best use of it by going out n watching all the movies we had missed. We also planned to tell Deepu that Patil sir was going to Calcutta BUT not on some tour but he was going there to get married. The idea sounded very dramatic and we felt Deepa would react by saying, “WHAT, Are u sure????????????”, “ WHEN”, “WHERE”, “HOW COME” n so on……………….We thought of telling Deepu the truth before Patil came back, in case she asked him anything. When we finally told Deepa, we did get all the initial reactions exactly the way we had imagined n we were sooooooo elated as if some film or ours was breaking all the Box Office records.

But as our luck would have it, Deepa met one of Patil’s close friends in her CAT classes, (Deepu can get very excited sometimes) and asked him, “What the hell are you doing here in Hyderabad when your friend is getting married in Calcutta”. This guy was sooooo surprised that he called up Patil sir immediately n asked him, “Kya yaar tu bina bole shaadi karlera…..U tell your students but not your friends aaaaa”. In the end Patil sir convinced his friend that he wasn’t getting married which left Deepu in a state of confusion (she still believed us). Deepu immediately called Resh n told her, “Arey dumbos….. u people must have heard him wrong. Patil sir is not getting married reeee”. Resh didn’t understand anything in the beginning until Deepu gave her a clear picture of what had just happened. Deepu did get mad at us when we told her the truth n she promised that she would tell Patil sir exactly what had happened and that we were the real culprits. I happened to be at Resh’s place at that time and we laughed n laughed until the idea of facing Patil sir the next day dawned on us. After all it doesn’t happen everyday when someone else calls you up and talks about your own marriage without you having a slightest idea about it.

We were a bit apprehensive when we were going to the org the next morning. We did know that Patil sir was quite cool and we just hoped for the best. We were standing in front of his office door and were doing the usual ‘first u first u….no first u’ thing when he opened the door. We then tried to put a very straight face and greeted him. He seemed quite normal and asked us to wait under the banyan tree until he finished a meeting of his.

During the course of our project we often used to spend hours sitting under this banyan tree. Patil sir probably felt that we would turn into modern Buddhas who could ‘revolutionize the field of communications’ by studying under that tree. But we had plans of our own and we discussed everything under the sun except our project. We did do a thesis on GUYS and the aim was to find out “Why guys run behind bimbos” (well the actual meaning of a bimbo is a good looking girl with no brains) and finally came to a conclusion that Guys handsome or not, all of them were duds. At least we got some gyaan and convinced ourselves that Guys are SICK $%#%$&^%……………..

But on that day we didn’t talk, for once we tried to concentrate on our project.
He must have been shocked seeing all three of us pouring through the books. We discussed every loophole that was troubling us (in the project). He gave us some tips and then came to the topic we were dreading. He turned to Deepu n said “ Acha Deepa, woh jab mein Calcutta mein tha…..”, before he could go any further Deepu retorted “Sir it wasn’t me….These two always try to make someone a Bakra. Yeh log class mein bhi aisehi karte hai sir”. I didn’t know what to do, me n Resh still found all that very funny. I was holding Resh’s helmet at that time and tried to hide behind it and for the first time I felt the government made a good decision for making helmets compulsory. Anyways he was quite cool about the whole thing asked us to go for lunch, as the system wasn’t free for us to work on it.

Lunch sessions were something we always craved for. The canteen was quite far from our dept and we used to go on Resh’s bike. It was situated on an uphill n we loved the place. The food tooo was very good and the time just flew by. We never wanted to return to the boring room that had a computer in the corner where we had to sit and break our heads trying to find solutions. After a few days of fingering we discovered a win amp player in the system, which had quite a good collection of songs. The boring room got a melodious touch from then on.

One day we were returning from the canteen as usual on Resh’s kinetic and were about to take a turn. Resh noticed a heavy lorry coming from the opposite direction; luckily she hit the breaks immediately. We initially felt we were very lucky and then got back to our usual selves by discussing what would have happened if we really had been injured. We let our thoughts flow and we imagined people rushing us to the hospital, the report that would have come in the next day’s paper, Patil sir feeling very sorry and concerned for us and finally we giving our final project presentation in our college wearing slings around our necks and while giving the presentation I would point to the slide with my injured arm (intentionally, for gaining some sympathy) and say “ and now ouch (instead of Reshma)…….would continue the next part ”. We were CrAzY no doubt……..

Two and a half months just flew by and our project was coming to an end. I didn’t know if it was for the better or worse. We still had to compile our project report and then prepare for the final presentation. Slowly the tension picked up among the people around us as they started giving the final touches to their reports. We were ‘the terrific threesome’ and at that time were thinking of giving initial touches to our report. Finally when the deadline was a week away we started panicking. After a lot of search……copy…….paste…… routines we completed the report and somehow managed to submit it on time.

The day of the final presentation did arrive and we were waiting to be called into the room where the external examiner and our H.O.D were witnessing all the presentations. We were quite confident and gave a good presentation without any hitches or ouchs………………


And finally Special Thanks to -
Mr. Vicco Vajradanti who was famous for his slick hairstyle
Mr. Visitor who gave us a toothy grin when ever we came across
Mr. Malaysian
and the person who served our lunch and who never listened to Resh (whenever Resh asked for dal he would give rasam).